


Dragon Juice

by robotortoise, TheRepeat



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Smut, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-02
Updated: 2017-04-02
Packaged: 2018-10-13 22:41:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10523409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robotortoise/pseuds/robotortoise, https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRepeat/pseuds/TheRepeat
Summary: It's the night before the final battle, and Corrin's got only one thing on his mind...and dick. All giant dragons are forgotten in the name of love.Unfortunately, the girl he's fixated on has no idea how he feels.Niles takes it upon himself to fix this.





	

"Checkmate,” Leo said. He moved the black piece in mark with Niles’s king.

Niles raised an eyebrow. “Twelve out of fifteen,” he said. “You’re slipping.”

Leo exhaled. “Do you really think so? I trust your judgement, Niles. I know I have been rather preoccupied with Sakura as of late. I worry I might have-”

He was interrupted by Niles hitching his breath. Leo turned, to see he was staring right at-

“Niles!” Leo thundered.

Niles blinked, slowly peeling his eyes from Corrin’s tight, well-toned ass. He raised an eyebrow. “Yes, Lord Leo?”

“Do _not_ leer at my brother,” said Leo.

Niles couldn’t help but smile. “I’m sorry, milord, but I can’t control where my eye wanders.”

“You’d better start learning,” snapped Leo, “or else you’re getting punished.”

Niles raised an eyebrow.

Leo sighed. “Okay, poor choice of words.”

“Indeed,” confirmed Niles. "And you should also know very well that I won’t be able to tear my eyes from that scrumptious piece of tush unless you give me somewhere equally scandalous for my lone eye to venture.”

“He’s not interested in you,” Leo said. “He’s not even remotely interested in you.”

“And how do you know that?” Niles took a sip from a wooden mug of ale, wiping his mouth on his sleeve. Charlotte, who was seated at the next table over, feigned a gasp. Niles rolled his eye.

“I know because I heard it from the source.” Leo closed his eyes, pressing two fingers to his forehead. “This may be the ale talking…”

Niles grinned.

“…but I’m about to give you a piece of advice. Should you choose to use it, you will learn what I mean.”

Niles grinned wider. “Yes, milord? Any advice would be helpful from you.”

“Stop riding my dick, Niles,” Leo said. He paused. “Pardon the language.”

“Yes, yes, it’s the ale.” Niles waved it away. “I get it, and, quite frankly, I couldn’t give less of a damn. Just tell me already!”

“Two cups of Dragon Juice,” said Leo. “Give him two cups of the shit, and my brother will reveal all.”

And with that he stood up, wobbled over to the next table, and planted his face right on top of Sakura’s shoulder. She jolted in alarm, but soon relaxed when she saw who was making such an advance on her. She started to stroke the crook of his neck. Leo whimpered.

Niles, content that his master was in good hands, approached Corrin. The prince was seated with Silas, laughing and drinking a small cup of sake. Niles walked up, stared at Corrin’s ass for another five seconds, then squeezed Corrin’s shoulder.

Niles found himself rammed against the nearby tavern wall, a scaled claw constricting his throat. His eyes widened, as did Corrin’s upon seeing whom he’d just nailed.

“Niles?” Corrin started, bemused.

“L-Lord Corrin,” Niles squeaked, though it came out as more of “hrrrk huagh!”

“Gods,” Corrin said. The dragon claw flashed white, and it was once more a normal hand, falling away from Niles’s throat. “You scared me!”

“S-Sorry,” Niles whispered. He shook his head and hacked.

Corrin nodded to Azama; the healer sighed.

“Do I really have to work?” groaned Azama. “Tomorrow we plan to kill a god. If we don’t survive the encounter, well… I want to know I lived a stress-free life, I suppose.”

Corrin raised his hand again. In a flash, it morphed into a dragon claw.

Azama swallowed. “On second thought,” he said, “I think I’ll do you this one favor.” He tapped on his staff, and Niles was once again in tip-top shape. “I expect compensation for that if I don’t die after the next battle.”

“Thank you.” Corrin swiveled to face Niles. Damn, these chairs were fancy. “Did you need something, or were you only here to harass me?”

“Sheesh,” Niles said. “Why the hell are you so angry today? Someone piss in your drink?”

Corrin sagged. “Something like that.”

“He wants to get laid,” whispered Azama. Corrin shot him a look, and the monk shrugged. “It’s true, isn’t it?”

“I wouldn’t put it like that,” muttered Corrin.

“Oh, this is better than I could have hoped!” said Niles. “You want to fuck someone!”

“No!” Corrin shook his head vehemently. “No, I do NOT want to fuck someone!”

“So you’d be fine with fucking anyone, then? Is that it?”

Corrin groaned. “Do I have to resort to physical violence with you, too?”

“Contrary to what my eyepatch might suggest,” Niles said, “I prefer to keep things light. Whipping’s as far as I go.”

“Why meeeee,” Corrin moaned, putting his head on the table.

“Aw, cheer up, friend,” Silas said. He shot a brief, deathly look to Niles (who grinned in response) before turning back to Corrin. “Next round’s on me.”

“Actually,” said Niles, “let me pay. I feel like I started off on the wrong foot, and I want to make amends.”

“That’s awfully suspicious,” Silas said. “If you try anything, know that I’ll be watching you.”

“Sure thing,” said Niles. He waved at a nearby waitress.

“Yes?” she asked. Her face, framed by her bright red hair in a ponytail, seemed oddly familiar to Niles. “What can I do for you?”

“Four dragon juices,” said Niles. “Make the fourth a double so this dragon can juice.” He pointed to Corrin, whose face reddened immediately.

“You sure about that, love?” the waitress asked. She put a finger on her chin, smiling slyly. “I hear that dragon juice can be dangerous when given to dragons. Acts as a truth potion, I hear.”

“Niles!” Corrin cried. “What in the world do you think you’re doing?”

“Giving you some of this woman’s juice,” said Niles. “Lord Leo said that this stuff will help you open up.”

“So did I,” the waitress said. She frowned. “I literally _just_ said that.”

“You know, you look an awful lot like Anna,” Silas noted.

“I get that a lot,” the waitress said. “You want the dragon juices or not?”

“Wait, how did you know I was a dragon?” Corrin asked.

The waitress winked. “Four dragon juices, coming right up!” She whisked away.

“Wait a minute! I was asking you a question!”

“I know,” the waitress said, popping up behind Azama.

The healer jumped in surprise. “Gods, you’re fast!”

“I bet she is,” Niles quipped.

“Hey!” the waitress said, a tray of four wooden mugs balanced atop her hand, one noticeably larger than the others. She set the drinks on the table. “You’ll have to pay extra for that service.”

“Wait… what?” Corrin asked.

Niles placed a drink in front of each of the table’s occupants. The largest ended up in front of Corrin.

“Seriously,” said Corrin. “I don’t get it.”

“Look,” Niles said, “do you want to get laid or not?”

Corrin’s head swayed. “Well, not particularly, but—”

Niles sighed. “Is there someone you want to do it with?”

Corrin’s cheeks blazed. “N-No,” he said quietly. “Of course not.”

“And that’s all the answer I needed.” Niles nudged the mug forward.

Corrin looked at it. “All I need to do is drink this? And you say you’ll solve my… issue?”

“I’ve done things with people you wouldn’t believe,” Niles said, leaning forward. “I could describe to you the acts in explicit, vivid detail, if you wish. But I think you’d much like to try them yourself.” He raised an eyebrow. “With a lady friend, I assume?”

“I… you…” Corrin’s eyes moved to Silas, who shook his head.

“It’s a bad idea to trust anything Niles says,” Silas said.

“I can hook you up with Princess Camilla,” said Niles.

“Wha—” Silas’s cheeks burned. “But—How did you…?”

“I have eyes and ears all over,” Niles said, blinking once.

Silas frowned, biting his lip. He looked around nervously, his eye briefly resting on the Nohrian princess at the other end of the hall. At the moment, she was running a hand through her hair and wiggling in her seat.

Silas swallowed.

“That was a wink, by the way,” Niles said. “I wasn’t sure if you’d get it, with you being a master of subtlety and all.”

“Do it, Corrin,” Silas said quickly, turning around. “Drink the dragon juice. For me.”

Corrin furrowed his eyebrows. “I don’t know…” He turned to Azama. “Azama, what do you think?”

“Do you really have to ask?” Azama quipped cheerfully. “We’re all going to die—might as well make our last night a fun one. That’s why we’re all here, right?”

“I suppose you’re right…” Corrin stared into the mug. Shutting his eyes tight, he raised it to his lips.

A trickle of burning liquid raced over his tongue.

That was when everything became a blur.

* * *

 

“Gods,” Corrin moaned, his cheeks red as a rose, “I want to fuck her. I want to fuck her so badly, Niles!” The prince was slamming his hands on the table in frustration.

Then he started crying.

“Holy shit,” Niles said. He whipped around, trying to find the waitress. “What the hell is in that stuff? It’s been seconds! Literally seconds since I gave him the drink, and he’s already absolutely wasted!”

“I told you,” the waitress said, popping up behind Niles (startling him). “…it makes dragons tell the truth. How many times do I have to repeat that?”

“That’ll be the last,” Niles said as he regained his composure. He shook his head. “You’re crazy, lady.”

The waitress straightened up, smiling and holding her tray in front of her. “Good!” she said. “Now leave me alone.” She sauntered off, her hips swaying to and fro. Niles watched intensely.

“Thank the gods,” Silas said, “now we know she won’t pop up again. How does she do that?”

“Who cares?” asked Niles. He turned to Corrin, who was still sobbing into his arms. “Don’t worry, sweetie,” he cooed, “we’re going to help you.” He patted one of Corrin’s hands.

Corrin’s head snapped up, and Niles pulled his arm back. “Don’t TOUCH me!” the dragon growled. “You don’t know what it’s like!”

“What what’s like?” Silas asked.

“Hey, you,” Niles said, glaring pointedly at Silas. “I’m asking the questions around here, buster.”

“Fine,” said Silas.

Niles smiled politely, interlocking his fingers and resting them on the table. “What what’s like, sweetcheeks?”

“Forbidden love,” Corrin moaned, crying. “I love her so much… I want to touch her, to hold her, to explore her, to cup her breasts, to squeeze her ass, to just enjoy her _everything_ …”

“Yes, but who?” Niles asked. “Who is it that you are unable to fondle?”

“You’re terrible at this,” Silas said.

“Shut up.”

“Azuuuuuuuura,” Corrin drawled. “I just… want to… touch her….”

Niles paused. “Huh.”

“You’re cousins,” said Azama. “That’s forbidden love, you know. Very taboo.”

“But she’s so fuckin’ hot!” Corrin slammed his hands on the table again, shaking the mugs still resting on top. “I want to touch her so baaad…”

“It’s not all that taboo,” Silas said. “Just…frowned upon.”

“Really now,” Niles said, grinning from ear to ear. “You fancy your cousin? In that case, please tell me—in elaborate detail, mind you—how exactly you wish to fuck her brains out.”

“Niles!” Silas quietly chided.

Niles put a finger to Silas’s lips.

“W-Well,” Corrin started, his face flushed from the alcohol and subject matter, “the most impressive part of her heavenly, gorgeous body is her butt. Oh, heavens, her butt. I’ve only seen glimpses—she’d crouch down to attack an enemy, or bend down to comfort Elise. I must admit… when I first saw it pressed up against the flowing fabric of her dress, I was… entranced.” He sighed softly. “It’s so round.”

Niles looked as if he might explode. Hearing the normally virgin Corrin speak so lewdly—about his cousin! His _cousin!_ —excited him beyond measure. Now THIS was his idea of fun!

“O...kaaaay,” Silas said slowly, stretching the word out. “I think we’ve all heard enough. We all know who Corrin has a crush on now. Can we all leave now?”

“Not a crush,” Corrin corrected, smiling. “I’m in love… with her.” He swayed dangerously close to one side, and Azama shoved him the other way, propping him back upright. Corrin wobbled, but continued to sit rather upright, blissfully oblivious to the injury he’d just avoided.

“What do you think they would feel like?” Niles asked.

“Her butt?” Corrin asked. “Her butt is one thing, Niles.” He giggled.

“Cheeks,” said Azama.

Corrin blinked. “O-oh! Right. Cheeks!”

Niles grinned. “Cheeks.”

"I think they would feel like smooth sponges,” Corrin said breathily. “Super soft, they would also be firm—muscular, shaped and toned from dancing and shaking those luscious hips. I would knead them; the taut flesh would fill my hands perfectly, with barely little excess to spare. When I’d squeeze and squish, they’d respond in tandem, and she would moan at how sensitive they are, the pleasure overflowing.”

Azama frowned. “Sensitive… cheeks?”

“Mmm-hmm,” Corrin hummed, nodding. “But not as sensitive as her breasts. Oh, gods, her breasts… Just enough to fill my hands. Incomprehensibly soft… the texture would be like velvet. I’d gently rub circles around her nipples, squeezing and squishing to my heart’s content. She’d moan, the sound like music—b-because it _would_ be! Her soft mewls of contentment would be quiet, but not so much that I couldn’t hear them if I strained. And since no one would be around when we make sweet, passionate love, she would soon come to realize that such restraint is unnecessary.” A dumb smile played on the dragon prince’s lips. “Oh, by the end of it all, she would surely be quiet no longer…”

The table fell momentarily silent. Silas shifted uncomfortably.

After a few tense moments, Azama broke the silence: “I can’t be the ONLY one incredibly turned on right now.”

Silas’s cheeks flared. He turned his head away, but was noticeably silent.

Niles coughed into his hands. “Well, that was rather… graphic. Lord Corrin, I never knew you had such thoughts.”

“These… feelings,” Corrin said. “They’ve only started to intensify as of late. I thought I could will them away, or that they’d disappear with time, but just the opposite has happened—as our battles have intensified, I’ve found myself fighting not only for myself, but… for her. For Azura. As I’ve grown stronger, so have my feelings for her. I simply can’t think of her as a long-lost sister anymore, or as discovered recently by secretive undead mothers, a cousin. Now… she’s a part of me. She’s my dragonstone—she keeps me sane.” He closed his eyes, breathing in deeply. “She’s my crutch, my partner, my second half. I couldn’t live without her…” He trailed off.

“You really love her, don’t you?” Niles’s voice was barely a whisper.

Corrin nodded. “More than anything else.”

“And you really want to hit that, don’t you?”

“Ab-so-lutely.”

Standing up, Niles grabbed Corrin’s hand and pulled the prince upward. “C’mon,” he said, slinging Corrin’s arm around his shoulders. “Let’s take you to your other half.”

“Wait, what?!” Corrin cried. He shoved Niles off, sending the archer toppling backwards.

“What the hell was that for?” Niles groaned, righting himself. “I’m trying to help you out here, remember?”

“I can’t just _tell_ her, Niles!” cried Corrin. “What if she rejects me? She’s my cousin, for the gods’ sake! She won’t take this news lightly!”

“Okay, fine. It may have not been the most fleshed out plan in the world, but it’s still more than you’ve done. Would you rather wallow in your own self-misery, or do you want to take action?”

“Misery sounds rather nice.”

“Oh my gods.” Niles gestured to Azama and Silas, both still gaping at him with their mouths wide open. “Well? Aren’t you going to say anything?”

Silas was the first to speak. “I think Niles is right.”

Niles turned. “Pardon?”

“Yes, what?” Azama asked. “Don’t you hate him? Why in the world would you validate him?”

“First of all, I don’t _hate_ Niles,” the cavalier replied. “I simply… dislike his actions, usually. But this isn’t about me or him - it’s about Corrin.”

“Hmm.” Azama contemplated this.

“Look,” said Silas, “Corrin’s been agonizing over this for quite some time, right? I say he owns up to it. Worst case, he’s rejected and heartbroken, and his relationship with Azura is forever ruined, forever doomed to be irreparably awkward. The best case? The girl of his dreams loves him back.”

"Copulation is much like the wind," Azama declared grandly. "It goes as it pleases, and in your case, Corrin, it will most likely be a fleeting whisper lost in the endless sea of Azura's more... enjoyable memories."

Corrin frowned. “Are you implying what I think you’re implying?”

“Well,” said Azama, “I’m certainly not implying you’re going to last for any length of time. No, no, no. In actuality, your triumph will be short… yet, perhaps sweet.”

“I think what you’re trying to tell me,” said Corrin, “is that Azura deserves the truth. Right?”

“Not at all,” said Azama. “But I certainly think that you could have voracious sex tonight if you play all your cards correctly.”

“Exactly,” Niles said. He slowly stood upward, sliding his ass into a chair. “Do it for me, too. I want _someone_ to get laid in this bar full of prudes.” He pointed to Leo, who was slobbering on Sakura’s shoulder and looking forlorn. “I hope they at least get some action going later,” he said, slumping down on the table. He grabbed a shot glass, slamming drink down his gullet. “Lord Leo deserves _something_.”

“Please don’t concern yourself with my brothers’ sex lives,” said Corrin.

“Shut up,” Niles growled, “and fuck her already.”

“That’s no way to speak to a royal,” muttered Corrin. He sighed. “I’ll forgive you on account of your drink.” He crawled up, tentatively standing on his legs. Luckily, they still functioned properly (albeit shakily). Corrin began making his way to the other side of the tavern… directly opposite of Azura.

“Wrong way!” Azama called.

“Oops,” Corrin said. He turned around, walking towards a mop of blue hair—towards his future, whether it be grim or good.

Niles leaned back and shut his eye. “A job well done, I’d say.”

“You planned all this?” Azama asked, surprised.

“Of course not,” said Niles. He shook his head. “But I’m glad it turned out this way. It may be true that I’m an asshole, but I’m not _one hundred percent_ a dick.” He inhaled another shot.

“Hey, wait a minute,” Silas said, a terrible realization hitting him like a brick. “I didn’t get to encourage Corrin! You all had your words of wisdom; I got squat!”

“Well, it’s too late now,” said Azama, shrugging. “Would you like another round of drinks?”

Silas sighed. “I guess. Are you paying?”

The monk chuckled and shook his head. “I’m not sure why you’re even bothering to ask.”

Silas reached into his pocket with a sigh.

* * *

 

Orochi suddenly brightened. “Ahoy, Lady Azura! Over here!”

Orochi’s allies at the bar followed the diviner’s eye. Sure enough, there approached Azura, gracefully coming to a halt not far away.

Azura glanced over the occupants of the bar. Mozu, Felicia, and Selena all grinned back at her, and Orochi gestured the songstress closer. Azura wasn’t one to refuse, so she strode closer with characteristic elegance, growing a smile for them in kind. “Hello, everyone.”

“Heya,” said Selena. “What’ve you been up to, Your Highness?”

Azura shrugged lightly. “This and that. I find my mind easily wanders of late… I suppose stressful times are ahead, after all.”

“Then let’s ease your worries, if just for a bit,” said Orochi with a wide grin. “Come, drink with us!”

Azura’s eye twitched. “Oh, I couldn’t possibly—”

“C’mon, milady,” Felicia urged. “We’re all friends here! There’s plenty of time to worry, but for now we’ve got a minute to ourselves, y’know?”

“Yeah, even _Mozu’s_ drinking,” said Selena as she pointed at the farmgirl. “Granted, that’s weak shit.”

Mozu shrugged, grinning sheepishly and raising her drink.

Azura bit her lip, conflicted. “…I… suppose I might as well socialize for a bit.” She was able to procure another smile. “Thank you.”

“Hey!” Selena called over her shoulder, alerting the red-haired woman tending the bar. “Some Nohrian ale for the princess!”

The bartender winked. “You got it, hon! Comin’ right up.”

Orochi turned back to the others; Felicia and Mozu had moved over a seat to allow Azura a spot in the middle.

Mozu spoke up first. “So, hey!” she said sweetly. “Lady Azura, you worried about the battle tomorrow?”

Azura’s face fell, and Selena reached around the songstress to place a reprimanding pinch on Mozu’s arm. “Gods’ sakes, she’s here to forget about that crap!”

“Indeed,” said Orochi. “Let’s speak of lighter matters, such as… perhaps…” A mischievous glint alit in her eye as she turned to Azura. “…Romance?”

Azura’s eyebrows furrowed. “Seems like a frivolous subject, but I’ll participate. Does a man tickle your fancy at the moment, Orochi?”

Orochi’s smirk waned. “…N-No, milady.”

“Ah,” Azura said, nodding. “A woman, then.”

Orochi burned red. “N-No, milady!”

Felicia tilted her head. “Really? I totally thought you and Kagero were a thing.”

Orochi shook her head vehemently. “No! We’re _close friends._ Don’t try to poison that with something so base!”

The others shrugged, turning to each other and forgetting the topic.

Orochi’s hands were fidgeting. “…A-And just because we… _experimented_ with our feelings in our youth, d-does _not_ mean we—”

“We get it,” Selena grumbled into her drink. “Pretty sure the noise coming from the barracks every other night is the two of you ‘experimenting.’ No need to clarify.” She took a long swig of alcohol before slamming the mug back into the bar. “Azura, she was asking what _your_ romance life’s like.”

“Oh!” Azura said, blinking. “Well, I don’t have much to share on that front, unfortunately. I’ve been far too busy to think of such matters since we first entered my homeland. I’m sure you understand.”

“Really? Not even a crush?” Mozu asked. “We’ve all been busy, but I mean, there’s so many handsome men around, how could you _not_ think of that stuff?”

Selena’s interest was piqued, so she put a pin in the Azura part of the conversation. “…You’ve got a crush on someone, Mozu?” A smirk grew on her face, and she patted Mozu’s shoulder. “Well, spill the beans! Who’s the guy?”

Mozu looked down at her drink, wriggling in her seat and smiling slightly. “W-Well… I’ve had dreams about Prince Ryoma.”

_“Dreams?”_ Felicia said in a high-pitched voice, grinning. “Ooh, what _kind_ of dreams?”

“Y-You know what kind,” the farmgirl replied defensively. “The… romantic kind.”

“Well, paint us a word picture!” Orochi urged.

Mozu looked at each of the four ladies at the bar, judging all of their reactions. Even Azura seemed a little curious, so Mozu took a breath, redness rising to her cheeks.

“Well… s-so, me and Prince Ryoma, we’re in a field,” Mozu began. “We’re walking, hand-in-hand, and suddenly, he stops.” She took another breath. “He tells me, _“Mozu, I love you, and there’s something I wanna give you.”_ And he takes my hand and pulls me real close…”

“Hohoho, here we go,” Selena cackled.

“…And then…” Mozu squeezed her eyes shut, and her hands moved to her cheeks while she shook with excitement. “…Then, he falls to a knee, and he proposes! Oh, he compares my eyes to the moon, he says I’m the only one for him, and he tells me he just _loves_ my carrot stew and that Niles is just a big ol’ jerk for insulting it that one time! And then he scoops me up in his manly arms and carries me off to the sunset…” Mozu sighed happily. “…Oh, if dreams were real…”

The others all watched her judgmentally, except for Azura, who patted her on the back with a smile.

“You are _such_ a virgin,” Selena muttered with disdain. Orochi and Felicia agreed.

“Well, _I_ thought it was sweet.” Azura started to push away from the bar. “Anyway, this has been fun, but I should—”

Orochi leaned closer, frowning. “Hold on. You haven’t even touched your drink.”

Azura glanced aside at the bar, where her mug had sat untouched since the bartender had arrived with it five minutes ago. “Hm! I didn’t notice.”

Selena slammed her fist onto the bar. “Bullshit! You aren’t going anywhere! …Your Highness.” She snapped her fingers, catching the bartender’s attention again. “Two shots of rum, pronto!”

“You betcha!”

Azura reluctantly sat down. “…If you say so.”

“Now,” Orochi began slowly, “Azura, I was trying to ask you about—”

“Ooh! Ooh!” Felicia interrupted, raising her hand into the air and waving frantically. “Me next!”

Orochi sighed. “Gods dammit, Felicia, you’re _married.”_

“Yeah, we already know how your love life went,” said Mozu. She clasped her hands together, beaming. “To finally have closure in romance…! Oh, that sounds _fantastic.”_

Selena scoffed. “The Virginal Villager strikes again!”

“I’m sorry, Felicia,” said Azura. “We already know your story. Takumi insulted you, you found that endearing, he found _you_ endearing…”

Felicia bobbed her head affirmatively. “…And next thing we knew, I was bouncing on him a mile a minute. Hoo, he’s got some _stamina!_ Since then, we’ve been fucking all over the place.” She grinned. “Most recently, right on top of this bar!” When Orochi cringed slightly, removing her hand from the wooden countertop, Felicia waved it away. “Oh, that was an hour and a half ago! I’m sure they’ve cleaned all of it up by now.”

Everyone was quiet.

Felicia looked around curiously, growing anxious under their bemused stares. “…What?”

The awkward silence was broken when the bartender finally arrived, two shot glasses in hand. “Here you go, beautiful!” the redhead said, winking at Azura and placing the shots in front of her. “Keep it classy, okay?” And she swiftly disappeared.

Azura just stared at the alcohol for a while. The two shot glasses stared back unblinkingly.

“Go on,” Orochi said, her mischievous smile returning.

Azura gulped, and she reached for one of the shots with a shaking hand.

“You know how to take a shot, right?” Selena asked. “Throw it at the back of your throat and swallow it all in one go.”

Azura nodded at her uncertainly before returning her mute gaze to the tiny glass in her hand.

“I believe in you,” Mozu piped in.

Azura squeezed her eyes shut. _In, out. In, out._ Her grip tightened on the shot glass, and she opened her mouth and took the shot.

Her form was immaculate. The liquid immediately disappeared from the glass, and in one gulp, Azura’s mouth was free once again. Not even a cough came from the dancer.

Her four allies gave a relaxed cheer, with Selena and Felicia patting Azura on the back.

“Good shit!” Selena laughed, and she took another swig of her own. Her face was growing warm.

Selena soon turned to lean against Orochi, almost equally red in the face. “Orochi, descriiibe to me… lesbian sex.” She coughed. “In… In detail. I need to know.”

“Why?” Orochi asked.

Selena shrugged evasively. “I just… I’m curious, y’know? Not enough to try it _myself,_ I just, uh…”

Orochi put an arm around Selena’s shoulder. “If you want _first-hand_ knowledge, Kagero and I would—”

“Holy _fuck.”_

Selena blinked, pushing away from Orochi, whose hand fell away from her shoulder numbly. Felicia and Mozu also looked to the center with wide eyes.

Selena leaned closer. “…Come again, Azura?”

Azura slapped an open palm against the counter. “I’m so fucking _horny!”_ she shouted, far too loudly.

The others were stunned into silence.

Azura suddenly leaned against the bar, pressing her cheek into the wood; she lazily ran her finger in circles along the counter. Her voice was much quieter now. “…I need dick,” she murmured. “I can’t remem-remember the last time I got some good dick…”

“She’s drunk,” Felicia whispered in shock. “Gods, she’s already _drunk!”_

“She only had two shots!” Mozu exclaimed.

“No…” Selena said, reaching for the two shot glasses in front of Azura. She grasped one, staring at the golden liquid swirling within. “…No, she only had _one_ shot.” Her eyebrows furrowed confusedly. “What the fuck…? It’s not even whiskey…”

“Guys, I’m hungry,” Azura whined.

Felicia frowned. “…For dick?”

“For dick,” Azura confirmed.

“Bartender!” Selena roared, slamming the shot glass down. “What the fuck is in this?”

The red-ponytailed wonder reappeared. “What’s the matter?”

“I said: _what,_ the _fuck,_ is _in my friend’s drink?”_ Selena hissed.

“Hmm…” The bartender inspected the shot glass. “…Looks like rum to me.”

“One shot of rum doesn’t do _that!”_ Selena shouted, pointing at Azura’s limp form sprawled across the bar.

“I’m very aroused right now,” Azura noted plainly.

“Neat,” the bartender replied.

Suddenly, Orochi began to giggle ominously. The other four women watched with trepidation (though Azura really watched with hunger) as the diviner rose from her seat.

“It’s quite all right, Selena,” Orochi began soothingly. “There’s nothing to fear. You see, I predicted this outcome.”

“Wha…” Selena shook her head. “What did you do to her?!”

“Nothing!” Orochi laughed. “The worst act I’ve committed this afternoon is willful negligence.” She gestured at the songstress sprawled across the bar; the other four women, including the bartender, followed her gaze. “Behold the princess before you, resting in such a lurid pose. Lady Azura’s skill at holding her liquor is beyond nonexistent. With almost supernatural ease, she gets hammered… like a _motherfucker.”_ Orochi smiled widely. “Ohoho. This is going perfectly.”

The others watched her with horror. Soon, the bartender realized she had no reason to care, and she left the scene.

“Th-That’s _terrible,_ Orochi!” Felicia stammered. “If you knew, then why would you—?”

Orochi raised a finger, silencing the maid. “Ah, but I have good reason! You see, the plastered princess seems to harbor sexual frustration, does she not?”

Azura briefly lifted her head off of the bar. “Can confirm,” she said, before lying back down.

The others murmured judgmentally amongst themselves.

Selena faced Orochi, crossing her arms. “Yeah? So?”

Orochi became serious, returning to her seat at last. “Quiet, friends. Yesternight, I scried a dark future ahead.”

They fell silent, suddenly enraptured.

Orochi blinked. “Uh, rather, I mean that there was little light in my vision of the future. Hardly a gas lamp lit the scene I foresaw.”

They rolled their eyes.

“You saw the future?” Felicia whispered. “What was in your vision?”

Orochi lowered her voice, and she leaned in closer. Selena, Mozu, and Felicia unconsciously moved in as well. The diviner placed her hands atop the counter, preparing herself for her story.

“It was very warm,” Orochi whispered. “Dark, as I said. A lamp provides a scant, tenebrous ambiance to the small room. The air seems to hang still; despite everything, there is a sense of silence, quietness, stealth. However, not all is still in this future I saw.

“No, there is a noise combating the silence. A restrained noise, as if in an attempt to preserve the silence for what it is, yet, despite the source’s intent, such noises arise involuntarily.” Orochi’s eyes widened, twinkling brightly. “For, in the large bed one can hardly make out in this caliginous vision, Azura is getting _ravished.”_

One of Mozu’s hands covered her mouth. Selena and Felicia also shifted at Orochi’s words; it was clear their curiosity had overcome their disgust for Orochi’s previous actions.

Orochi’s smile grew, feeding off of the others’ reactions. “Ravished! Plowed! Absolutely, unquestionably banged! As the vision continues, her moans grow ever more desperate, her gasps ever sharper as her lover thrusts into her again and again.” Orochi closed her eyes. “I can see her face—the way she tries to fight it, stay true to her solemn nature, but I watch as those defenses fall away, leaving behind an expression of pure joy. Oh, her smile… She glows even as she is being mercilessly pounded by this shadowy suitor.” Orochi paused, opening her eyes. “…Then, the vision fades.”

The others suddenly began to breathe again, not realizing they had stopped. Thick red hues had filled each of their cheeks; Orochi was not exempt.

As one, all four women sipped their respective beverages. Azura settled for moaning quietly.

Then, returning her mug to its place on the bar, Orochi grinned once more. “…And a new scene forms: the same bedroom, the same scenario. Hardly a minute must have passed between this moment and the previous, but it feels so different.” She took a shaky breath. “The most obvious difference, of course, is the dominance of blue over the bed. You see, our princess has taken a more powerful position, mounting her lover; her sapphire locks are spread over the two like a blanket, rising and falling, shifting as Azura spears herself atop the man’s cock with ever-increasing vigor. All pretense of quietness, of solemnness, is entirely gone; Azura cries out in pleasure with each downward thrust. The slapping of skin against skin cannot be missed. I see the way she tenses, the way she digs her nails into his shoulders, as she starts riding the edge of her finish; so too do I see the hands of her man grasping her firm ass tightly, and he begins shoving himself upwards into her to match her pace.”

Felicia suddenly smiled. “Oh, they were doing the Wyvern Rider! Haha, that’s one of my fav…” She trailed off, noticing the looks she was receiving. Blushing, she fell quiet once again.

Orochi cleared her throat. “…Quite. Regardless, that is where the vision ends—teasing me. I awoke in a cold sweat, with a much warmer wetness pooling down below, yet, much like my visionary Azura, I was denied a conclusion.”

“You know, you can just say you didn’t cum,” said Selena. “That’s a lot of words to say the same thing.”

“I-It builds the scene!” Orochi stammered. She took a composing breath. “Anyway… after the vision, one question remains. Two, actually: the first is, _“how long did masturbation take for me that morning, after having a dream like that?”_ The answer is thirty seconds.” Orochi met the eye of each woman at the bar; Azura’s were unfocused. “The second question is this: who was Lady Azura’s lover?”

Selena, Felicia, and Mozu all slowly looked at the intoxicated princess.

“I’m certain that my dream was a glimpse of what is to come,” Orochi declared. “It held a reality to it that is not matched by ordinary dreams. In Lady Azura’s near future, she will have some absolutely _a-mazing_ sex.” Her eyes narrowed. “But with whom? Ah, it was so frustrating, watching the encounter unfold with the man’s features constantly obscured. A combination of the darkness, the entwining of the two bodies, my own focus on Azura’s…” Orochi licked her lips, stealing a glance of Azura’s ass, raised in the air as it was due to the singer’s posture: “… _delightful_ form…”

She hastily shook her head clear. “…Yes. So, knowing how Her Highness is around alcohol, and how a drunk Azura is a filterless Azura, I elected to engineer the rest of us to meet at the bar, to entice the princess into the social activity.”

Selena’s jaw dropped. “Y-You _manipulated_ us?!”

“Quite a melodramatic way of putting it, but yes.”

“You couldn’t have just, well, identified whose room it was they were fucking in?” Felica asked.

“It was Azura’s,” said Orochi. “Trust me, I checked.” She turned to the princess. “However, now drunk, it is only a matter of time before she tells the truth.”

“The only truth here is that that story was fucking hot,” Azura murmured. “Could you tell it again, please? If it’s alright with you, I’ll touch myself as you speak.”

Felicia saw that Orochi had half a mind to agree, so she butted in. “Sorry, Your Highness,” the maid interjected. “Th-This is a public place.”

Azura frowned. “I understand. Not a big loss, anyway. My fingers are good and all, but I really just wanna…” She paused to loudly yawn. “…Haa. Wanna take a ride on just… just a big, hard cock.” She gestured between her legs. “Buried right here.”

“Fuck’s sake,” Selena muttered, “this girl’s got problems.”

Azura closed her eyes. “Hmm, hmm… _You are the ocean’s gray waves… Destined to suck—”_

“If she changes those lyrics to something sexual, I’m actually out of here,” Selena added.

Orochi snapped her fingers in front of Azura’s face. The songstress’s blue eyes slowly drifted to meet her. “Lady Azura,” Orochi began earnestly, “who is it you harbor feelings for? If you were given the chance tonight, who would you fuck in a heartbeat?”

Azura smiled sleepily. “Oh, I’d let him fuck me, all right… He would shove his dick so far inside me I would see stars. By the end of the night, he’d leave me a sweaty mess, weak and spent… his sticky liquid dripping from between my legs as the only proof of our extensive lovemaking.”

Mozu leaned closer to whisper to Felicia. “Can I lose my virginity from hearing this?”

Felicia smiled sadly. “Oh, honey.”

“But _who?!”_ Orochi continued urgently. “Who is ‘he’? Who is your lover?”

“H-His… his _sword,”_ Azura laughed. She hiccupped once. “That’s… a good euphemism, right? …I’d want him to plunge his sword into me. Heehee… He… would stick it in so far, the person to pull it out would be named the next King.” She had brought herself to laughter again.

Orochi sighed.

But, suddenly, Felicia snapped her fingers. “Wait, guys, I’ve got it!”

Orochi, Selena, and Mozu looked at her with interest. Azura continued to giggle.

“His _sword,”_ Felicia urged. “And _king?_ Guys, she’s talking about Prince Xander! His Siegfried, and his regality as a future king—it has to be him she’s fantasizing about.”

“Could be Ryoma,” Selena pointed out.

Mozu frowned determinedly. “N-Nope, not Ryoma, it’s gotta be Xander, yep.”

Selena yelped in alarm when Azura’s hand shot up with surprising deftness to grip the mercenary’s forearm. Selena found herself face-to-face with the Vallite songstress; Azura’s eyes were glazed, and a tired smile constantly played on her lips.

Azura tried to speak, but she was halted by the need to giggle. She soon gave it a second try: “S-Say, Selena…” She giggled again. “…Selena, d’you think that the Fire Emblem is ribbed?”

Selena blinked.

Orochi blinked.

Felicia blinked.

Mozu blinked. _Am I gonna get pregnant from this conversation?_

Azura drew closer to Selena. Her voice low, she whispered seductively, “I want Corrin’s enormous Yato to stir up my insides.”

She then pulled away, struck by an even stronger giggle fit than before; she laid her head down on the bar once again whilst she laughed. This allowed the others the silence they needed to wrap their minds around this revelation.

Slowly, Mozu leaned in closer. “Guys, I think I’ve figured out who it is,” she whispered.

Selena grasped a fistful of Azura’s hair and pulled Azura’s head off of the counter. “Explain yourself!”

Azura seemed unfazed. She pushed off of the counter to sit up, prompting Selena to loosen her grip on the princess’s hair.

“You want me to explain… Hmm…” Azura tapped her chin thoughtfully. “…Lemme ask you this, then.” Her eyes filled with a sudden clarity, and she turned her icy gaze on Selena. “Have you ever thought about dick?”

Selena blinked, at a loss. “Uh…”

“I mean _really_ thought about dick,” Azura resumed. “Concocted imaginary scenarios of holding one in your hands.” She hazily searched around for a moment before finding her still-untouched mug of Nohrian ale resting atop the table. She cupped the cylindrical mug in her hands, frowned that there was still liquid within, and she tipped the ale to her lips.

The others could only watch as she downed the entire thing.

With an audible intake of air, Azura released her mouth from the mug, proving that it was quite empty, where it had been filled to nearly the edge hardly twenty seconds earlier.

And then, unfazed, she turned back to Selena, mug still in hand. “Holding one in your hands,” Azura repeated, gripping the cylinder tightly.

Selena blinked. This close, she could easily see that Azura’s eyes weren’t so much _glazed_ as _fogged over._

But the singer’s hands were deft, and she held the empty mug horizontally with one hand, her fingers nearly reaching all the way around. Her pinky was raised.

“Feeling it pulse underneath your fingers,” Azura whispered, not breaking eye contact. “Absorbing the warmth. The… _need._ You can feel it twitch in expectation. And when you…”

She trailed off, her eyes catching movement from the metaphorical cock in her hand. A drop of ale lingered on the edge of the mug, threatening to drip wastefully to the ground. Azura didn’t spare a moment in closing her eyes, exposing her tongue, and dragging it along the edge of the mug, capturing the delicious excess in her mouth.

Slowly, Azura opened her eyes, her tongue still hanging out breathlessly. She seemed to reluctantly come to terms with the fact that this was not, in fact, a phallus in her hand, so she turned her attention to Felicia.

“The expectation is… overwhelming,” Azura cooed. “The man is warm, strong, but underneath you. He _wants_ you, and in your hand…” She turned back to the metaphor. “…is physical proof. You _see_ this big thing, you _admire_ it… You want it inside you so badly… The mystery is part of the wonder. You know that this thing will be filling you up, this big, warm… twitching beast…”

Her second hand clasped over the mug as well, and that hand began to run up and down the metaphor, stroking it tenderly.

“…Spreading you open, forcing inside of you with lustful abandon. In and out, in and out… So you give him something in return.” Her stroking began to quicken. “You tease him. Ready him, ready yourself. You imagine, as you wrap your lips around this glorious thing, what it will feel like for this cock to fill you for real. And you can’t wait.” She was starting to smile. “You know that it has been a long road. He is your cousin, you remember, and though that had been a prohibitor of your relationship thus far, it is now a boon, as the excitement of taboo shoots through your body.”

Orochi frowned. “…The illusion kinda disappeared there.”

But Azura ignored her. “The both of us are finally ready. Our uneasiness is gone, our trepidation defeated. It is only he and I, alone, together, with nothing separating us but the massive cock he rubs against my entrance, tantalizingly, making me want it in the same way I made him want me before. And finally, with a grunt, he pushes it in! It is then a haze of emotions and maddening pleasure as I feel that big—warm— _thing_ moving inside me again and again, faster and faster. I would rake my fingernails over his chest, and he would begin to knead my breasts, squeezing and squishing the sensitive flesh, pleasure overpowering—”

Selena frowned. “S…Sensitive _breasts?”_

“Are yours not?” Felicia asked Selena.

Azura was looking down at the bar now, staring at nothing, her chest rising and falling with heated breaths.

Mozu wriggled in her seat. “Orochi, I-I’m so warm… why do I f-feel like this?”

Orochi smiled sadly. “Oh, h-honey.”

The redness slowly began to drain away from Azura’s face, and her eyes lost their light. “…But that’s the stuff of fantasies.” She leaned forward to press her cheek against the bar again. “It would never happen, of course…”

Selena frowned. “What?” She leaned in closer, scowling. “Why the fuck not?”

“We’re cousins,” Azura sighed. “And this is a bad time… we’re far too busy for thoughts of romance. Or fucking.”

Selena’s eyebrows furrowed, seemingly growing indignant. “Gawds, are you kidding me?”

She jabbed a finger to point at a table in the distance.

At that table, the prince in question currently sat in a similar condition to Azura’s, likewise in conversation with several acquaintances. At the sight of him, Orochi, Felicia, and Mozu let out a shared high-pitched “Ooooo!” as they faced Azura again.

“He’s _right there!”_ Selena demanded. “You can’t just spin us stories about how great his dick is, and then not _do_ anything about it.” She seized Azura by the sleeve and forced her to sit up. A fire in her eyes, Selena muttered dangerously, “Lady Azura, if you don’t go hit on him right now, _I_ will.”

Azura blinked numbly. Suddenly she felt more hands on her from the other side, and she turned to face Felicia.

Beaming, the maid earnestly clasped her hands around both of Azura’s. “Your Highness, this is the _perfect_ time! Tomorrow’s the final battle, milady. What if you don’t _get_ another chance?” She squeezed Azura’s hands. “…A-And I’m sure you will, but you’ve gotta know now.”

Mozu nodded emphatically. “And, and it’s forbidden love! So romantic!” She smiled ecstatically. “Oh, the taboo just enhances the lust! All, all the sex you two will be having, I mean!” She looked around, smiling nervously. “D-Did I say that right?”

“You did very well,” said Felicia, patting Mozu on the head. Then she turned back to Azura. “So, go follow your heart, Your Highness! And when you two are getting it on, might I suggest you two try the Nohrian Nookie to kickstart your—”

Orochi coughed. “Er, isn’t that Prince Corrin himself staggering this way?”

The five women all turned around—Azura’s head snapping particularly quickly—to see that, yes indeed, Corrin was slowly making his way closer, clearly as inebriated as Azura if not more so.

“C-Corrin,” Azura whispered. “Hi.”

Corrin caught himself on an empty chair at a nearby table, and he clung onto it for balance as he looked up at Azura with a tired smile. “H-Heya, Azura.”

“Wh-What’re you doing here?” Azura asked, a little giddy grin growing on her face.

Her eyes were turned down, and she began playing with her hair. Corrin, too, was wriggling on his toes, wearing the same kind of smile.

“They’re like children on a schoolyard,” Orochi marveled.

“Nothin’ much.” Corrin leaned against the chair, tapping one of his feet anxiously. “Just, uh… just wanted to see how you’re doing.”

Azura latched onto that eagerly. “I-I’m good!” She blushed. “I mean—I mean I’m well!” She hid her face in her hands, mumbling to herself. “Oh gods, I messed up…! I accidentally used bad grammar; now he’ll think I’m an idiot…!”

“I’m well, too,” Corrin said, before he flushed the same color of red. “Oh shit, she didn’t ask! Now I’ll seem self-centered!”

The two Vallite royals turned away from each other, blushing intensely.

“Gawds, any longer and we’ll see them literally sweat sexual tension,” Selena muttered. “They’re crazy into each other.”

Mozu beamed. “Oh, that’s wonderful!”

But Azura and Corrin seemed to have forgotten about everyone else, continuing to shoot furtive glances each other’s way. In the looks they would steal, they looked the other up and down, growing redder and redder. They could feel sweat lining their brows from the anticipation; recent fantasies they’d had of the other stood at the forefront of their minds.

“U-Um, Azura,” Corrin began forwardly.

“Y-Yes!”

“I want you,” Corrin stated bluntly.

The bystanders gasped.

Corrin blinked. “I—No, I—I want to, uh… go on, uh… with you, uh…”

The bystanders sighed.

Corrin trailed off, and from Azura’s blank look, it seemed she actually had no idea where he was going with that sentence.

Felicia leaned in, her eyebrows furrowed. “…You want to go on a date with her?”

Corrin and Azura’s heads snapped onto her in shock.

“Gods, Felicia, you must be psychic,” Corrin murmured, awed. “How’d you know that I was gonna say exactly that?”

Felicia blinked. “Um…”

Corrin faced Azura. “Y-Yes, that’s… yep. Azura, do you wanna go on a date with me?”

Azura’s expression brightened. “Y… I, I would, well, um… Ye… um…”

“…Yes?” Orochi offered.

Both heads turned to her now, amazement on their faces. “You’re a true diviner,” Azura breathed. “Yes, that’s exactly what I was going to say…”

Selena had been shaking her head with growing irritation for at least the last thirty seconds. “This is so dumb. This is so unbelievably dumb.”

But Azura and Corrin met the other’s eye, the truth known between them for the first time. “What… What do you want to do?” Azura asked.

“We could—we could grab dinner,” Corrin offered.

“Dinner’s already been served,” Azura said, frowning.

Corrin’s mind reeled at this mortifying turn of events. “Fuck!”

“It’s okay,” said Azura. She stood from her chair and pulled him into her arms. “We’ll get through this together…”

Corrin’s arms wrapped tightly around her; he grasped fistfuls of the back of her dress, clenching his teeth. “G-Gods, Azura, you always know just what to say… You’re always there for me, and—”

Suddenly, Selena slammed her emptied mug onto the bar, she stood, and she roared, _“GET A FUCKING ROOM!”_

They were all silent. Orochi noticed they’d caught the attention of the entire dining area; after a moment of stunned silence, however, everyone else in the room forgot about the event.

“Wh-What Selena means,” Orochi added with a weak chuckle, “is, of course, that the two of you should retire to Lady Azura’s room… say, in twenty minutes?”

Corrin and Azura, still holding each other, both blinked.

Orochi snapped her fingers with a more serious expression. “Azura’s room, twenty minutes. You two are going to fuck.”

Corrin and Azura quickly separated, both mumbling “Right!”

Corrin hobbled back to his allies, while Azura stumbled into Felicia’s arms. Felicia shot a grin at the other three ladies; she said, “Leave her to me, guys! I’ll make sure Her Highness is ready.”

Mozu, Selena, and Orochi stood from the bar and watched Felicia walk Azura away.

Selena crossed her arms. “Y’know, Orochi… I thought you were pretty gross earlier, but you actually did kind of a good thing today.”

Orochi giggled. “Ohoho, of course. I appreciate the praise, dear.”

The mercenary gave Orochi a sideways glance. “…So you can _actually_ see the future, huh?”

“Why yes, of course I can,” said Orochi, as if surprised Selena would even ask. “I’ve even seen your future, Selena.”

“You have?” Selena looked away, back to Felicia and Azura disappearing into the distance. “What kind of future is it?”

“A romantic one, naturally.” The diviner shrugged. “If you wish, I could…”

A red tint hit Selena’s cheeks. “Bitch, you aren’t gonna leave me hanging.”

“As you wish.” Orochi tapped her chin thoughtfully. “How graphic would you like me to be?” She glanced at Selena, smirking mischievously. “There aren’t very clean ways to describe being double-teamed by those two Nohrian boys you seem so fond of.”

The redness greatly enhanced, and Selena physically recoiled a step. Her mouth worked uselessly.

“One in front, one in back,” Orochi said with a shrug. “Absolutely dominating you. You seemed quite excited by the venture.”

Selena took another step back. Her eyes were glazed from alcohol and, now, imagination. “I—I—”

Orochi bit her lip to stifle laughter as Selena quickly escaped the situation, too embarrassed and intoxicated for a characteristic biting retort.

Mozu’s eyebrows were furrowed as she watched Selena go. “Were you being serious, Orochi?” she asked.

Orochi shrugged. “It seemed plausible.”

Mozu shook her head. “Man, I just don’t understand… I guess I’ll just have to have sex with Prince Ryoma if I wanna see what all the fuss is about.”

Orochi grinned. “Oh, honey! Now you’re speaking my language!”

* * *

 

Azura’s heartbeat was deafening. Part of that was the pitch-darkness of her room; having nothing else to focus on seemed to amplify all sounds. A quiet evening had taken hold of the castle, leaving her with nothing else to listen to but those uncomfortable _ba-thumps._

She shifted in the bed, her eyes still trained on the door to her room. The light poking through outlined the door with a yellow corona, making it the only visible thing in her room at the moment.

_Twenty minutes, right?_ Azura thought anxiously. _D-Did he forget? Or, is, is he standing me up? Or maybe it just FEELS like it’s been twenty minutes…_

So when the door’s creaking invaded on the silence, and more light spread through her room, her heart fell suddenly silent, goosebumps sprinting across her shoulders. She forced herself to breathe when his unmistakable silhouette appeared in the door frame. His head was turning confusedly, scanning the black room for her.

Azura took a shaky breath and reached for the gas lamp on her nightstand.

Corrin flinched when light suddenly flooded the room; his eyes slowly adjusted, and his gaze was drawn to the bright blue on Azura’s bed.

Azura lay on her side in a seductive pose, but her expression betrayed her anxiety. Her smile was weak and trembling, and her eyes carried concern more than come-hither.

Not that Corrin noticed, of course. Something else was a little more distracting at the moment.

“Y-You’re naked!” Corrin exclaimed, blushing intensely.

Azura’s smile vanished. “Y-You’re _not_ naked!”

“I...I had to _walk_ here, Azura!”

Azura’s mind reeled. She hadn’t thought of that. She’d been _sure_ that he’d be naked, too! “But, but... I thought we were going to fuck…?”

And Corrin, who normally would have immediately turned away and waited for Azura to dress herself, was instead entirely transfixed on her alluring, exposed body. “Uh, we’re still on for that, right?”

You see, it had only been twenty-five minutes. Corrin and Azura were both still quite drunk.

“Oh, gods, this is so embarrassing!” Azura hid her face in her hands, though that was probably the least important place to cover up at the moment. “I look so dumb!”

Corrin moved closer, raising a reassuring hand. “L-Look, Azura. It’ll be okay,” he said shakily. “I think I’ve got a solution.”

Azura slowly lowered her hands, looking up at him.

“We’ll compromise,” Corrin insisted. “You’re fully naked, I’m fully clothed. Let’s just meet halfway: I’ll partially undress, and you partially dress.”

Azura looked down, furrowing her eyebrows. “Corrin, that’s… that’s genius,” she murmured, in awe.

Corrin grinned. “So grab yourself a nightgown. I’ll get started over here!”

As Corrin began figuring out the facets of his armor, Azura climbed out of bed and went for her closet. She thumbed through the hangers for an appropriately seductive nightgown, her lip pouting thoughtfully.

“…This is fun.”

Azura looked over her shoulder at Corrin. “What?”

Corrin was smiling sheepishly. “I mean, this is kinda… kinda a goofy situation, right? With all this going on, it’s easy to forget about… tomorrow.”

“I don’t think it’s goofy at all,” said Azura. “And I haven’t forgotten, not for a second.”

Corrin frowned.

Azura pulled the nightgown over her head, and, after fixing her hair, she faced him. “This is a very welcome distraction, though.”

Her eyes explored Corrin. He had only removed the upper half of his armor, but that was enough for now.

“…Maybe it’s a _little_ goofy,” said Azura with a smile. “I mean, you should have heard some of Felicia’s stories. Hard to take them seriously, coming from her…”

“If they’re the same as all of Takumi’s bragging, then I kind of already have,” Corrin replied, shrugging.

She drew closer, putting her hands on Corrin’s shoulders. He absently held her arms as well.

“We don’t really have much more time,” Azura whispered. “I feel like we’ve wasted a lot of it, you and I.”

“Then let’s learn from our mistakes, shall we?” Corrin teased. He gently leaned closer. They shared a chaste kiss, quite unfitting of the lascivious manner they were dressed in.

The room was finally quiet again, but now there were two invasive _ba-thumps._

Azura eventually pulled away. Corrin frowned, noticing the displeasure in her expression.

“You aren’t listening to yourself,” she muttered. “You said ‘let’s learn from our mistakes,’ yet we’re still wasting time.”

Corrin shrugged uselessly. “Then what do you want me to—”

She tightened her grip, spinning him so his back was facing the bed, and she pushed him down onto the mattress, climbing over him - all in one, smooth motion.

The action left Azura breathless, hovering over Corrin (also panting). She locked her eyes with his. “Get it?” she breathed.

Corrin gulped, nodding. “Y-Yep. Definitely.”

She smiled. Then, again, she seized his shoulders, rolling the both of them over; now, Corrin was on top. He instantly took the hint and pinned her wrists to the mattress.

Azura closed her eyes as Corrin leaned in; she exposed her neck for him and allowed him to place kisses onto her collarbone. He dragged his lips up her neck, pausing to kiss her jawline. Her head tilted back; a quiet, restrained moan finally escaped her.

Corrin’s head swam for a number of reasons.

One: Azura was so warm and soft and _smooth_ and _oh_ , just _so huggable_! He could barely believe it. She, Azura, was _actually_ under him right now. _Azura!_

Two: that noise! Oh, gods, that noise she’d just made! That was _so_ hot. Ah! She just did it again! Corrin resolved to kiss her in that spot a few more times, and sure enough, she rewarded his efforts with moans of increasing arousal.

Three: after returning to the table with Niles and the others, he’d, well, he’d partaken in a _little_ bit more of that yummy Dragon Juice. Maybe a bit too much. Thinking was hard at the moment.

But that didn’t matter right now! Sure, he was almost at the point of drunkenness where he wouldn’t be able to remember tonight come morning (though he wasn’t sure about that, yet), but, _gods,_ AZURA was under him, and she was _horny_! He stole a glance at her face in-between his worshipping of her neck, and the expression he found could not be faked by one as intoxicated as her. No, Azura was aroused as fuck.

In fact, now that he was noticing her arousal, he realized that she’d bent one of her legs, prodding his inner thigh with her knee.

_Holy shit,_ was all Corrin could really think. _Hooooly shit._

Unconsciously, he began to grind against her leg. She inhaled sharply as she felt him move. He was moving his kisses upward, too, kissing her cheek, her chin, a little nibble on her lower lip, and finally—

And finally, it stopped.

Azura’s mind was cloudy, and she required several seconds to catch her breath and gather her bearings. _Holy shit,_ she thought, smiling slightly. _That… that felt so…_

But she stopped as her thoughts began to coalesce. _…Wait, why did he…?_

She lifted her head off of the mattress slightly, her eyebrows furrowing in confusion. Sure enough, Corrin was still lying atop her, half-dressed; however, he lay still, except for the rise and fall of his deep breathing.

He was asleep.

Azura almost formed a question. Maybe “Did you really pass out?” or something as simple as “Corrin?” However, that question was lost forever, as she was unable to finish the thought. Rather, she suddenly passed out as well.

She miiiiight have had a couple more drinks before seeing Corrin. Felicia had insisted they perform some sort of drunken sex act with a clever name that Azura had forgotten, but, well…

So that was how the night ended: Azura lying peacefully asleep in her own bed, Corrin resting on top of her with an equal expression of contentedness on his sleeping face.

They rested very well that night - hand upon hand, and lover upon lover.

They battled with some nasty hangovers that morning, but the grace of a healing staff was enough to fix that right up. Yet, they both remembered last night. Vividly.

But where others might let that awkwardness impede the relationship, Azura and Corrin instead threw themselves into the fateful battle that day.

They had missed their chance last night. They knew they would have to work hard for a second one.

And boy, were they horny.

Anankos never stood a chance.

**Author's Note:**

> Robotortoise:
> 
> Okay, so I can’t find the original comment chain that inspired me to write this, but it was a comment by /u/Soul_Ripper on reddit about...Azura and Corrin being super thirsty for one another? Or something? God, I can’t even remember.
> 
> I started writing the first part as a joke kind-of (also kind of not - there’s really very few male Corrin x Azura fics, and the only sex ones that exist are either terrible or so far beyond the point of being kinky that they’re just kind of gross. I mean, dragon sex? C’mon. I can understand half, but….full? Really?)
> 
> I haphazardly asked TheRepeat if he wanted to write a second part. My idea was he would write Azura’s segment, and I would write Corrin’s. I was expecting this story to take, like, a day at most. He made it take a month, but he also made it huge. And I think this project turned out much better than I’d initially planned.
> 
> And to clarify: yes, he wrote the woman’s segment because I know absolutely nothing about what a woman wants, sexually...or otherwise. I mean, I know they’re human, but that’s about where my knowledge ends. I think they excessively use of periods when writing, or something? Not sure.
> 
> Anyway, of COURSE Repeat when above and beyond and not only accepted, but wrote three times what I did. He also made it a personal mission to make it, like, three times as perverse, too. I’ve gotta say, this is about the closest thing to smut I’ve ever written, and I love it! It’s like smut, but without the sex! All foreplay! All passion! No...thrusting!
> 
> It’s great. I loved it, and I love him.
> 
>  
> 
> TheRepeat:
> 
> Love you too bb
> 
> I’ve never collaborated on a fic before. This was really nice. On one hand, I don’t have absolute creative control, which is a change (though Robo did give me a lot of freedom with his idea), but on the other, if I wasn’t sure how to work with a particular scene, I could just ask Robotortoise. Saves me a lot of time, for sure.
> 
> Glad Robotortoise had enough faith in my writing ability to trust half of his story with me! It was a lot of fun. Maybe we’ll do another collaboration sometime?
> 
> I’m TheRepeat on Fanfiction.net, if you’re interested! And I’ve written Azurrin too! It’s called Cold Feet - less smutty, but still funny.
> 
> Thanks for reading. :)


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